I have invested thousands of hours, money, and emotions into starting, running, and growing my fiber business and I truly believe all of it was worth it. But there is one lesson I wish I had learned sooner when I was in the middle of being a sponge of business knowledge. That little lesson was…
How to ask my business coach or fellow FiberBosses the right questions to give me the best answer and return on my investment.
I’ll admit I used to get super frustrated with my coaches last year when I would ask my business questions and not get either the answer I wanted to get (which is a whole other thing) or I didn’t quite get enough of the answer I needed. I would go home and feel like I was still stuck. Like the answer was some cryptic message that I needed to decode and once I did I would have success. That my coaches just didn’t understand. I would start to blame them for not doing their job or blame myself for investing in something that clearly wasn’t what I paid for…
Then, I was at an exclusive business retreat for women and had the opportunity to go through a round of “hot seats.” This is when each woman is given a set amount of time and we workshop through her needs and questions in her business. As I sat and watched this I noticed some of the women get very frustrated to the point of tears because they just weren’t getting that breakthrough they needed. And I sat there whispering to myself, you aren’t asking the right questions.
Then it hit me in an instant that was my problem! I didn’t know how to ask the right questions from my coaches. I would ask either what i think i should be asking or I wouldn’t be willing ot be honest with my coaches or myself with what was going on and give some vague information follow by some vague question. And then this truth hit my hard…
It isn’t your coach’s job to read your mind, its YOUR job to ask the right questions.
Once this realization hit I was able to change simple things about my questions that yielded so much more information and help than I would have ever guessed before!
I want to share this with you my simple changes I made when in a coaching session or asking simple questions from my business coaches, mentors, or consultants. Whether I am your coach at the moment or not, this simple lesson changed my business.
5 Tips on How to Ask Your Mentor the RIGHT Questions
Asking questions can be scary. You worry about getting things wrong. Or you worry about looking like you don’t know what you are doing. Sometimes you don’t even know what you really want to ask. And it stops you. You never raise your hand, speak up, or type that question on the screen. But when we do that we aren’t hurting anyone else but ourselves. When we don’t ask for help, we don’t progress and move forward. Being brave to even ask your coach and not worry about what she will think is the first step. We are all on different parts of this journey and we all stand on the shoulders of giants. Which means no one is in the place to judge you, your journey, or your questions. Be brave… speak up!
This is probably the BEST piece of this lesson that i can teach you. When you ask vague questions you will get a vague answer. When you ask specific questions you will get specific answers. Sounds simple enough but so many times we decide to ask our couches vague questions expecting the best answer in the world. Your coach’s job is not to mind read. Their job is to help you and guide you based on what YOU have decided YOU need. Don’t expect them to know your whole life’s story and all the emotions in your heart and head. Their job is to guide you based on the information you have given them. So be specific so you can get the most detailed response you deserve.
Be willing to go deep and be honest with your coach. A lot of times we are afraid of judgement. That we should be farther than we are or circumstances change or you just don’t think your coach will understand. But remember, we are all humans. Be honest with your coach if you expect your answer to actually align with the truth that is going on with you at that time. Honesty is always the best policy and being vulnerable will allow you to get the truest answer you need right now in your business.
When you ask a question you can’t control the answer. It’s like when you squirt a tube of toothpaste out… you can’t get that toothpaste back in. Once you ask your question the answer is out of your hands. So please be open to the response you receive. The point in you asking was to get knowledge and opinions from outside of your perspective. So if the answer isn’t quite what you wanted to hear, maybe it’s for the better. Because you are at a position that you want or need change and change causes discomfort but if you are open to receiving and trying out nes advice you may be surprised at the results.
Last but not least, always be discerning. Again we are all unique with unique circumstances. You need to always discern whether the advice you receive aligns with you and your brand. We are all human who have had different experiences in life that shape our knowledge. So you won’t always get an answer that really feels good for you. And that’s ok. That’s not your coach’s fault and quite frankly it’s good if that happens sometimes because it means you care about your business and you are following your intuition. We honestly shouldn’t blindly follow every advice we here. What we should do is discern if it aligns with us and then test it out. Once you do this enough then trust is formed between you and your coach so that then you are willing to test things out more without resistance.
I want to know: When could you have better used these tips when seeking advice from a friend, mentor, or coach? Tell me your story in the comments.