Can I tell you a secret? Shhhhh…. Come a little closer….
I’m not the perfect mother. I try really hard everyday to be the best mother for my son but there are often days (too many that I can count…) that I don’t live up to the perfect mother figure we all see and even some shame other women for. (Not cool btw.)
Whenever I think about this shaming that happens as mothers in entrepreneurship I’m reminded of a day last month… Friday, Aug. 25 to be exact. This day will forever live in my memory as a day that I realized no matter what life throws at me… I’m doing the best I can and I just need to remember my reasoning for everything I do. This account is not only for mothers in the creative business world, but ANY woman or man who feels like they are constantly falling short and asking yourself is it worth it?
It’s Friday Night and here is the situation:
- My husband is out of town
- I had literally just returned home from holiday 2 days prior
- I had launch deadlines not only for my business but for a client’s as well.
- And a sick little boy
Many many things happened that night including:
- screaming and crying (from both of us)
- we ate crappy food (ice cream and pizza were in the mix)
- I screamed in the shower from a spider scare…( turns out it wasn’t a spider #longhairproblems)
- my toilet training son decided he needed to pee during a business call I had and proceeded to run around naked in the background. (I kid you not… you can’t make this stuff up)
- we watched way too much tv
- and I didn’t get the bed to myself that night. (king size bed mind you, about 80% toddler, 20% me)
So I stood there in the shower at 1 am (I finally got a shower…) feeling exhausted and I suddenly realized, I’M NOT CRYING! What? Why am I not crying? Today was definitely one for the books but why wasn’t a reacting the way I normally do?
Because I am a BOSS! (not a mompreneur, not a layboss, or girl boss… a real BOSS)
I was able to roll with the punches and not fall apart because I knew WHY I was doing it all.
That same day also came with:
- successful bath time for the little man
- I didn’t run out of diapers or food
- My son put himself down for nap (THAT NEVER HAPPENS! Still to this day I wonder if he’ll ever do it again)
- I had a lot of snuggle time
- I miraculously finished all my launch deadlines in between naps, eating, baths, and tears.
- I completed my business calls with my dignity still intact
- and I still took the time to be a friend.
When I stood there in the shower puzzled as to why I wasn’t crying, I realized I have achieved my creative “why.”
Why do I go through life with days like this and still smile at the end of the day? Because I have autonomy. I am able to CHOOSE into the moments I need to be present in and show my son the value of hard work and building something from your dreams! Yes, not every day is going to be sunshine and lollipops or should I say, white space, speckled yarn, and the perfect cup of tea… but it’s MY crazy chaos and it’s MY choice to live it or not. This is what I call creative freedom and thinking outside the box… because let me give you a little secret… there really is no box!
So when someone says I’m a mompreneur… that’s not true… I’m so much MORE than that and my why proves that to myself and those who matter most everyday… I choose that. What are you choosing into every day?